datingtips’ blog

Just when I know how to escalate and get good with women quickly, I think of those women I slept with but couldn't keep around.

And it's quite sad.

So many women had the potential to be great girlfriends.

But I had my brain up my butt.

...maybe that's a little rude.

But this comes down from TWO distinct problems:

First, I was trying to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd. And I've never fully recovered. But I've stopped trying to recover. And that's what's made me move past this "proving myself" thing.

I just accepted who I am.

Sure, I like comic books and video games.

But...

Do you believe girls have cooler interests?

Is getting drunk, Myspace and shopping is cooler than what I'm into?

It's all have connection.

What it really need is self-acceptance.

If you don't accept yourself, women won't accept you also.

Can you imagine a woman wanting to be your girlfriend when you don't like yourself?

She will HATE your company and not want to be around you.

Because you can't really like a woman,  if you don't like yourself.  And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?

It may sound easy, but self-acceptance is hard to do. How many times have you hear these from people "I don't care what anyone thinks of me!"

Based on my experience, almost all DON'T ACCEPT themselves completely.

And I'm no exception.

The degree to which you accept yourself is the degree to which women find you attractive, and people want to be around you.

It may be hard to completely accept yourself. There is an old beliefs creep in and saying you are not enough, that you must be more than yourself now.

The degree to which your game becomes better is if you know the degree to which you stop these thoughts.

Because the real game is about yourself and not doubting about yourself. And the game doesn't end after your opener, after a few dates, after "making love." It never ends that way.

Because it is you.

You are not separated from your game.

Your game IS YOU. The "game" is the degree to which you can express who you really are.

"But I'm nervous and insecure and awkward" you might be thinking. I disagree. That's not you.

That is the vague you.

That's you trying to come out, but your old mental habits and ego stop you in expressing what you really want to express.

Before I get too deep into that, I want to move on to the second reason why I couldn't keep women around after I slept with them.

I am not aware of shaping.

Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don't know what you want, you can't shape.

In fact, what applied to others is self-acceptance. You know what you like, and you encourage girls to be that for you.

You see, women are very flexible. They have many sides that they can reveal to a man. Men usually implicitly tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than the man.

But it's not the woman's fault. She's just doing what she's told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.

So if you come to a woman and treat her like she's on a pedestal, she will act accordingly.

If you talked and treat a woman like she's lucky you approached her, she'll feel that way.

Same through after mating, if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle, she will do so.

We go into this heavily in our workshops. I've developed lots of ways to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.

And each woman is different. For example, I may want one woman to be just a mating partner. I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want another one to be a girlfriend.  It all depends on what you want.

I think of all the crappy, frustrating relationships I used to have.

And how frustrating it was to not see those women again using all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist.

But when I began to accept myself and analyze what I wanted, it all came together.

The Attraction Code is a about figuring out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the women you want to meet, date, and sleep with.

The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE if you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine.

Dating can be your best friend.

...OR your big enemy.

A lot of time, a man can feel like a slave to his natural need to procreate.

Then there goes a common quote,  "He thinks with his... You know."

Well it can be hard to NOT think that way if you aren't physically satisfied.

But men are also goal oriented.

We make our actions to achieve things and influence the world in a positive way.

I've personally faced one of the biggest challenges and it is balancing the two - my carnal obsession and achieving my goals.

When you are single, dating can consume a lot of time. Women will suck away at your time if you don't know what you're doing.

Before you know it, you are spending hours in the park, feeding the birds and cuddling...now there's nothing wrong with spending quality time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS YOU DON'T compromise YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.

Goals take time, likewise to women.

In fact, it's a woman's NATURE to get the man's time - it's her way of getting you to invest in her. If she gets pregnant there's a lesser chance of you leaving her (this comes from our caveman days, so to speak).

It is really tricky to manage your time with women. You see, most men want to give their time to women. By nature men are "givers." They like to please women, protect them, and give them good feelings.

Guys have also a urges that can completely take over your thinking.

Both of these things can get in the way of you making the most of your life, your time.

I want you take a moment and ask this to yourself, "WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO WOMEN?"

Now I know it wasn't about "money," or "control over my life," or "lots of my free time."

It was probably something like "good feelings, sexual pleasure, relaxation, excitement, feeling of safety, make her smile or feel good about herself, etc."

I think men have problems with how they use their time with women in two ways.

First, they think that the gifts they REALLY want to give aren't that valuable, so they overcompensate with other stuff - like spending too much time or money on a woman.

Second, men think that they are "getting" something valuable when a girl spends time with them.

Guys was brainwash by the society to believe that women are a prize to attain, and that there's some inherent value in a pretty face.

It's not TRUE!

The best thing is to see women for what they are, nothing more, nothing less. They are cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that important, AND THEY CAN'T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!

Now it is really hard to break out of this mental prison of feeling inferior to women.

Your mental habits are subtle and hard to notice because you've been doing them for years.

Young men are taught that their urges  is crude and silly, and that it is just a favor that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.

There's a syndrome that I call a "doofus dad" syndromeThere's another societal factor going on, . In almost every TV commercial and sitcom, the "dad" or "boyfriend" or "husband" is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the mom/daughter/girlfriend/wife has to use her superior intelligence to fix the situation.

This leads to the perception that women are "better," and thus, their time is more valuable than yours.

If your time is not so valuable, then you will feel obligated to give her LOTS OF IT.

But here's the thing - you won't be present for most of that time, if you are giving a woman too much time. You will be distracted, resentful, you will give her your "half-assed" attention.

I just realize this after analyzing lots of dates I went on women.

After that I started to give my FULL ATTENTION to women even though I'm only giving a smaller amounts of my time.

Aside from making our time better, this creates a VAST ATTRACTION because I left women craving more.

Now my girlfriends can't get enough of me - in fact, I don't GIVE THEM "enough."

Ask you know, "enough" would mean, "overexposure" to me, and women can't be pulled to what they already have.

The proper way to manage your time is by being HONEST. And I don't recommend you to play games with women and pretend to be busy or whatever.

No need of games, just be real with the girl - and don't spend more time that you want.

Enjoy whatever free time you have with women but still with focus on your personal goals. Be the man on the go.

Now in a short amount of time it requires that you are able to meet a lot of women, which I'll have to cover in another newsletter.

It's not good to see that men waste their lives chasing and "putting up with" girls, and then they are left out ALONE.

Remember that women aren't property that you can keep or somehow bring with you when you die.

It doesn't mean that you can "keep" the women if you invest all your time with her.

One more thing here - if you start being honest with the amount of time you are willing give to a woman, you may feel GUILTY.

It's either a girl will try to make you feel guilty, or you will feel it on your own. This is ok, it just means you have a weak focus.

If you are following your true ways, it will usually from the social norm.

If you are in the habit of adopting the values that others try to impose onto you, you will probably experience some tension, guilt, discomfort, even loneliness at first.

That's why I set and develop the Attraction Code. It's all about self-control, finding true path, and letting the real 'you' emerge from within.

And there's no need for us to impose our goals onto you. Given the proper guidance, I know you are able to do that for yourself.

Vin

If you are interested in meeting, attracting and keeping a 10, then I think you'll find this letter very interesting.

But first off, let go waaay back...

When I was in high school, there was this girl in my class who was perfect.

She was intelligent, cool, and so beautiful that it was hard to look at her (and yet I couldn't stop my eyes looking)...

She was friendly to everyone and was one of the popular kids in school.

We talked occasionally, and looking back I realize we were flirting (I was too stupid to realize at the time).

I wanted to ask her to senior prom so badly...but I chickened out at the last minute.

It was a few years later that I realized that the girl had a crushed on me all the senior year.

I've talked to a lot of guys and this experience seems pretty common, there was this ONE SPECIAL GIRL who you crushed on from afar, or you missed an opportunity with her, or she broke your heart...

Ah, the unreachable "10," a perfect woman that every men dream but seems hard to attain.

I have a lot to say about the concept of "10's," In deeper sense they are another "breed" of women, but it is on the way they think that makes them so.

Understanding the reality of the extremely beautiful women and understanding your own fascination for a perfect women will help you resolve this conundrum, and might even help you in finding your "perfect girl."

First of all, the concept of a "10" is a myth. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. No woman is more "valuable" just because she looks nicer than other women.

The woman that is perfect for you is the one who can turns you on and have a great chemistry with you. That is the only true "10".

Following this reasoning, the world is full of 10's, given you have the skills to meet a lot of women and create options for yourself.

Treating a woman differently than other women just because she is prettier is a recipe for failure.

Why?

Because almost all men do that.

The girl knows what you are about and she sees you as a shallow guy.

But there definitely are certain women that seem on another "level" of beauty than the rest. These women get treated much differently than other women.

You need to understand on how you will deal with these kinds of women.

Like I said, you shouldn't treat them "differently."

Let me clarify.

You shouldn't treat a woman BETTER than the other women. But there are things that you need to know.

First, she is sick of guys chasing her for her looks alone.

She wants to be appreciated for her personality more than anything else.

Now for your own sake I'm going to give you a heads up.

There are two types of "10's."

Low self-esteem and high self-esteem.

The pretty common is the low self-esteem 10's. Women here have a guilt complex. Because they are used to being wanted for their looks, but they know that they didn't EARN that attention.

In fact, most of their lives are probably coasted, and are in complete dumbasses.

It may sounds not good  but I call it like it is.

These type of women will respond to jerk-behavior. Taking away their validation will make them flip out and do anything to get it back.

Anything.

(Aside from that, these women usually suck in bed and are total head cases when you get involved with them.)

Meanwhile, the high self-esteem 10's are women that have had a taste of the elite - early from the start they realized that high levels of society were attainable to them, they exert an effort be intelligent, successful and make the most of their lives.

These women know that they are just a little closer to a great life than everyone else, and so they are motivated to put in the extra effort.

Usually HSE 10's are intellegent, have good attitudes, have a direction in life and have lots of interests beyond being clubbing.

Actually, most of beautiful women I've dated didn't even go to the club. They like to spend their evenings being with their families, reading, or having a nice dinner with friends (or studying if they were in college).

And here's another interesting thing. These women are single for long periods of time while in-between boyfriends. Why?

It is because they have high standards for themselves, and this makes most men either too intimidated to ask them out, or act too needy and pathetic around them, it's rare that they meet another man who is on their level.

But here's the good news. These women are the easiest to attract when you understand The Attraction Code.

The Attraction Code is about being the best man you can be, being a "male 10."

You will notice an interesting thing if you start to apply the Attraction Code.

You'll get odd responses from less attractive women - they will occasionally be rude to you because they know they're not on your level - it's what I call the Auto-Rejection Mechanism. Some women will try to protect themselves from being rejected by you, by rejecting YOU first.

But the most attractive, cool women will respond much differently...you'll be amazed to see the most beautiful women warm right up to you as soon as you approach - whether on the street or in the bar - because they can see that you are on their "level."

She thinks to herself, "finally, a guy who can hang with me; he's confident and treats me like a real person. And he's the only guy who's actually tried to talk to me today, instead of whistling from his car."

The Attraction Code is meant for these kinds of women. Of course you'll also enjoy plenty of "adventures" with all kinds of women, but ultimately this is about having the option of dating the hottest, highest quality women.

There are bunch of 10's out there waiting for you.

Don't spend another year missing something that you could've been enjoying right now.

Vin

One of the mistakes that some guys commits when they first meet a girl is to show that they understand the GAME. Like, they'll  start talking about evolution, alpha males, how girls will always cheat on their boyfriends, how they know girls are more intimate guys and blah blah.

I will refer to this kind of act as nonsense as "The Talk of Death".

As a pick-up guru this kind of things will make your conversation topics very poor with women. Especially hot ones.

It might work with the social anthropologist grad student, but to the girl that any man in his right mind would be attracted to, there are a few major things wrong with this strategy:

(BTW - if you happen to find a girl that loves this kind of stuff, by all means go on with it, I'm just saying it should not be used as an ATTRACTION techniques for most of the female population)

1. It puts her on the defensive. It's exactly like one country revealing it's battle plans to another country that it is at war with.

It shows that you are "thinking too much" about the dynamic, which not only is a huge turn off, but also makes her think you're going to be a mind-trip. Not good.

2. There are chances that her awareness level is about 10% of yours.

Especially if you're keeping up on my newsletters which is called "Stepped Awareness".

Have you ever tried played a song you LOVED for a friend and they just didn't get it?  

It's because their awareness didn't go through the same process that yours had - and resulted in you really liking the song...

What would expect to a girl who spends the majority of her time thinking about new shoes,  jewelries and her problems with her boss, wouldn't you think it's just too alien and weird for her when you talk about "the unique mating patters of the bonobo apes and how it relates to girls in the club".

This is the same reason why you'll sometimes see the biggest AFC ever with a smoking hot girl. He's normal, and she can easily introduce him to her friends without being ashamed!

3. To a girl that DOES understand it; you talking about it make it seem like a big deal, when it should be plainly obvious.

5-10% of women actually DO get this stuff. It's obvious, intuitive and accepted for them.

These women are capable of open relationships and tend to also like women, and generally a lot of fun.

But here's the thing - the guys they end up dating ALSO get this stuff intuitively.

And when you get something intuitively, you'll never go out of your way to convince another person of it, or explain it like it's some huge revelation!

So the moment you do it, the women who are most eligible for the lifestyle you're looking for, will instantly disqualify you.

So... What to do instead?

Well - one of the most powerful techniques I use is this:

**Understand society's programming, understand her specific programming, and appear to be under the exact same programming.**

Once you try these techniques,  you're absolutely see a big difference in your game.

Keep your knowledge of REALITY to yourself (and of course, if you figure out anything amazing, I would appreciate it if you share it on my forum as well)

I have been quite an expert on fast pick-ups. But there's one problem that I want to share with you.

You see, even though guys that can pull these off enjoy not only success with women straight out of a fantasy world and typically get women obsessed with them, with a fast pick-up comes a big problem...

SOMETIMES FAST PICK-UPS DON'T BECOME A RELATIONSHIP.

Sometimes a fast pick-up becomes a one night stand instead of converting it into a relationship.

Well, its fine for those that has that intention.

But a lot of times, you DO want to see the woman again - or possibly start a relationship with her.

Here's something I want you to know - In the past 2 years EVERY girl I have slept with has been under 4 hours.

And EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. wanted to see me again...

So why am I saying this?

I'm saying this NOT to brag. But I'm saying this so that you can realize the great amount of value I can offer you as a client of mine, and to prove a very important thing:

“HOW FAST YOU SLEEP WITH A WOMAN IS “NOT THE BASIS” TO START  A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER.”

In fact there are three major points on how to have a continuing intimate relationship with a girl...

And this time I will reveal a few myths about this.

3 MYTHS ABOUT FAST PICK UPS

MYTH #1: "Build a 7+ hours comfort" with the girl before sleeping with her.

As I said, the amount of time you spend with a girl has nothing to do in sleeping with her.

In fact it has almost NOTHING to do with anything you do before you sleep with her. The secret lies in what you do AFTER you sleep with her.

I have got it down to an exact science. A series of actions and behaviors that practically guarantee she will not only see you again, but also be borderline obsessed with you...

Just have a natural behaviors that a person can learn from you in less than five minutes. Nothing fancy, no routines or lines...
 
Here's the REALITY of this situation.

The reality is some of the hottest and most intelligent women I have dated LOVED the excitement of getting physical really fast.

It's straight out of the movies, and very few guys can pull it off skillfully.

MYTH #2: You need to reassure the woman that you will see her again before sleeping with her.

A lot of guys try this... they imply that the women is "relationship material" or that he definitely wants to see her again.

Man... what a way to kill an intrigue right off the bat...

Guys do this and tend to come on wayyyy to strong. They appear too interested, too needy, to desperate to get a girlfriend.

But at the same time you should NEVER imply that it's a one night stand, or that you're just interested in bed.

This isn't very effective either...

MYTH #3: You have to be great in bed the first time you sleep with her.

Julian,  who is a good friend of mine, admitted that he is bad in bed and only lasts for about 3 minutes but converts girls like *CRAZY*.

Point here, he is NOT good in bed (his choice), and STILL gets women so crazy about him, they won't leave him alone.... (it just end up the women sitting there naked, watching him playing Gears of War on his Xbox360)

May be at this point you are thinking...

"THIS IS TOO ADVANCED, I STILL HAVE PROBLEMS PICKING UP AND SLEEPING WITH A WOMAN!"

I know that.

But listen. This is an important information that you're going to need soon.

And let's be honest - when you DO start sleeping with women - wouldn't you rather have the CHOICE to see them again or not?

That's what my point is.